Carlton's Journey To Life

Place your Blogs Here
User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 22 Nov 2019, 22:01

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rfections/

Day 857: All my Imperfections

Look at me and what do you see, is it perfect to think we deserve to be flawed, or is a flaw to think that we’re flawed in the first place, externally speaking, where we’re all born with birthmarks and marks that signature our individualism, from the way we walk when walking the way we do, to how we’re shaped and molded by our environment, what’s wrong with that but a hat too big to fit in the eyes of society, that constantly lies to our external appearance, I mean what’s the difference in being “too old for me” and/or wet behind the ears? Is it the fear that onlooker will classify me as a basket case when I’m with you, in any case why bask in what we think others will think about us, which is the flaw of judgement in itself, that rubs shoulders so carefully with consequence, it’s obvious that common sense is neglected to protect the idea that I must be imperfect because of the way I feel about what I think you think about me.

Not good enough or ever so ready to step into the ever so changing me to once and for all experience my utmost potential, that was laid out before me on a silver platter of sort, to sort out these infractions and get to the good part, the part of me that barrows the scream for acceptance and accept all that I am, without a proud look or cocky demeanor, I mean I’m-perfect-on being satisfied, with a status that’s only defined in character, narrated by my imperfections, without really questioning, “Is there really more to me”, seeing it and walking into it confidently that would support me to achieve the reaching of my utmost potential.

The consequence to this is a life unfulfilled, lived at half best at best, or better yet like a flag at half mass, that honors the fallen soldiers that never had a chance to get up, and/or gave up in mid stride, it why we impose a rose for the things we love and the things we love we soon forget, and the rose we gave soon wither and die away, to return back to the earth from which it was seeded. The same as a thought that can also be deleted, after gifting oneself the correction that could be symbolized as the rose, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose upon myself a life lived at half best, at best believing in the thought that I’m imperfect and so would never have a chance to experience the best of me, then simply say “Delete” and walk the correction of, “When and as I see myself thinking/perceiving/believing that I have too many imperfection to experience/reach my utmost potential, I stop and breathe”. And within this comes a seeing, where then, “I see/realize/understand that the flaws I assume define my external appearance, is the flaw of self-judgement in the service of other, that I allow the idea of others renting space in my head, is the acceptance that I am imperfect and should just accept this idea”, in which case a commitment is a life-long agreement that can stand a lifetime if we let it, that “I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to ever go back to this way of thinking again”.

It’s needed to understand what flaws really is and imperfections that’ll never be perfect in a sense, when in the words it says, ‘I’m-perfect’ that only make sense, but drawn away from just how perfect one really is, when seeing what it is that we’re facing as a flaw, and look forward to correcting exactly what we saw, (internally speaking) that’s certain to change our outside appearance, and the experiences we have when strolling alone in our worlds.

Where every thought is a dislocation from the location I’m in and every location is a pin point placement of the experiences I have, knowing that my experiences most of the times change with my mood, it’s rude to think that I’m fine exactly where I am, outside of impressing “comfort as and enemy to progression”, it’s uncomfortable to think I’m progressing with imperfections, so the thing is, to lose the idea that I’m not good enough, and replace it with “For who” am I living in this world for in the first place, that’s (me) being perfectly capable of placing a stop to this diminishing way of thinking, and see that all of me is in perfect progression in line for what’s to come, just as long as I continue walking my process accordingly, and absorbing into acceptance all that I see needs to be reversed, and reverse the curse of holding onto ideas/perceptions and beliefs, that steals away my chance to live the best of me. Therefore;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to encapsulate the idea that I’m imperfect, instead of asking the question, “In who’s eye’s and what for”, meaning how (so) can it be, when all that is here, is as I am here also, experiencing this existence in some way or the other, which make our individualism a point of self-creation and the ideas I have is just a point of projection, that obviously came from me through the soaking up of societal media, that medians the connection between me and my utmost potential, in which case it’s simple, I must be the point of correction, to reinsert this connection and cut out all distraction, to have a direct line to Self as the ultimate satisfaction, and I won’t be satisfied until I make this happen, and pass it on to others to see how perfect we really are, it’s a notice in awareness to see how perfection really starts, which starts with correcting the separation between what I think and who I am as life, and that’s all I got for now, as I am a work in progress.

Thanks for reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 30 Nov 2019, 19:57

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rspective/

Day 858: An Explaining Perspective

In physical reality it’s a pain, in layman’s terms it’s a shame, the attempt to explain what you see that others may not, that shadows the shallow with doubt, momentarily unable to swim through the deep end of the mind, in times when superficiality is needed, we bleed the impossible that’s deep seeded and not talked about, in disbelief of what’s coming out of our mouth, so to choose our words carefully when explaining how reality works, that works the same for everyone, if every One would work together. But getting another to see what you see is like pulling teeth, best to watch what you say, because the most commonsensical things (when explain) can be taken the wrong way, and thrown back at you inappropriately to save face, and turned around to fit a desirable feeling of the other, that fires up a reaction in you, if not careful and gives the other person the satisfaction of seeing you become agitated.

A bit complicated when trying to explain to someone that there’s more to life, when asked the question “what is life really all about, and the experiences you have, please explain them to me” , I mean some of the things we’ve seen and experienced (individually) is not accepted as a talking point in most circles, and would (in a way) hurt the sensibility of those whose asking, so to pacify their attempt to extract knowledge and information, is to classify oneself as being the point of crazy, I’ve experience in the sense of big eye and thought to be on drugs, then shrug my shoulder with a smirk and subject to go into, when a change is needed, it’s deep seeded to think that we really want to know about everything, all at once then said that’s something I didn’t want to know about at this time, that interrupts the location in which we stand, a designed Plan that EX-communicates us from our reality, to casually stay within the comforts of today.

It’s like ‘X the plain part and indulge me with your beliefs’, where if it feels good to you, then it’ll feel good to me, and if what you say don’t comes with a feeling, then rest assure I’ll be leaving the conversation, or debunk the conversation no matter how much it makes sense, not realizing how the mind loves to circumvent, and invent worst case scenarios that catapults me into fear, all the why’ll believing that this can’t be real, I mean why can’t I see it, and where did you originally get this information from, and lord help you if you say YouTube, they’ll turn and run, but then you have some that for most part accepts you for what you stand for, without judging you, but will tell you this information is only for you to see, which begets the question, in which way are we choosing to explain, is it the same way we would like to hear new News, no matter what question is asked to you, is the explanation of some use to them as you?

Lol, if you want to lose a friend, let it all out, go in head first, where it’s sure to be thought about, there’s something wrong with your head, but if you want to keep a friend do consider their location point, and pin point placement when walking their own process, where a sharing is what I realize for myself, not just what I heard, I can explain the experiences of me to assist with others questioning, and the lesson is for me to be able to see things in real time, in what I walked in alignment with the investigation I’ve done, and as the saying goes “anything else would be uncivilized”, in the eyes of a society that only sees what we want, and if we don’t want it, why look in that direction, that’s why it’s important to direct our conversations, where what come up is “give and little, take a little” we all are human beings, that’s pieces of you and me spread out infinitely, so just treat others as you would like to be treated yourself, without the shock and awe they may not be ready for yet.

Interesting the dynamic of testing ones resolve, where after realizing something we’re tested to see if we fall or fail to follow through with our points of correction, that bets the mind that I’ve learned my lesson, like when I first started writing this post, I was approached by someone who had a lot on their mind and wanted to talk about their child and the idea of being ungrateful in a sense, where a lot came up within me that would have made common sense, but I didn’t say a word and let this person talk them-self out, to then at the end just said a few things and before they left, told them, “Don’t forget to breathe”, real simple and that’s it, as they answered all their own questions, and left appreciating that moment of interaction, which showed me that at times simplicity is the key, and to be aware of what needs to be said or not.

On the other hand, telling someone “Oh you’ll be fine” or “Everything will be alright”, is not enough when one is overwhelmed by the stuff that’s coming up in their mind and can’t explain it, and so asked for some clarity on what they’re experiencing, at which time I only explained the specificities of what they said, that gave them a better understanding of what they were facing, that we’ve all faced the same at some point in time, where the cross reference then came after I saw the person again, who showed a different state from which they were previously in, that blew me away in a sense for being able to experience both sides of the “Explain” point in real time, to realize just how awesome process really is when understanding the mind, and applied correctly the corrections in real time, that I’m extremely grateful for, the walk into life, with more to come as I am a work in progress, and accept all that is me to be corrected effectively. Investigate it for yourself!


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been an over-explainer at time when it wasn’t needed, then at time when it was, only said things like “Everything is ok”, and/or “You’ll be fine”, unable to differentiate between the times when deep explanations was need and simplicity should be at play, and so intermixed the two, that begets the question my starting point for wanting to explain to deeply and/or keeping it simple when more explanation was need, that showed my partialness or sorts along with the point of seeking attention, that keep me on the reverse side of things until, I learned to listen to what exactly was being said by the other, to then breathe through my explanations.


What I realize is that an effective explanation comes when one has listened attentively to what is being said by the other, without interruption, giving them the space and time to answer their own questions, in the sense of seeing what they’ve laid out for themselves – to then add onto it if needed, as this for me is and effective motivation point for me to continue walking my process of becoming the living words, so that I’m able to live what I speak about and so explain.

Thanks for reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 09 Dec 2019, 21:34

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... ltime-job/

Day 859: Awareness, A Fulltime Job

State of beings are like well-placed seeing, where we place ourselves in a destructive mode to only see what we like to not deal with what we don’t like, in distrust of our sight, the bartering with the mind, where if I close my eyes real slow that means I’m manipulating my vision and looking for sympathy for this hopeless feeling, hoping that others will side with my procrastination, waiting on someone to tell me I’m right or what’s right and what to do, but complacent to a degree when adjacent to doubt, as if I can’t see my own way out, but don’t want to get out, I’m aware of this, but have fixed it so that I’m scared of these little spurts of awareness.

At rarest, I’m aware of the state I’m in, that blends in nicely with the point of escapism, but you can’t run away from yourself if you tried, and the messes we’ve made in our own damned lives, that comes from the debt we used to enslave ourselves to greed in spite of one another as ourselves, unaware of the problems we cause each other, that’s a problem that needs to be corrected today, where just because you have money to fly away, doesn’t mean that the problems will just dissipate, so we wait in counting on the world to end, looking to start all over from the beginning again, minus the ones we think is not our friends, while the friends we have are really not our friends, but we’re aware of that every time we choose, not to “hurt their feeling” when they’re crying the “Blues”, in hopes we don’t lose a “like-minded” individual, that as Egotistical as I allow myself to be, it’s us who are constantly at war with ourselves, making decisions to appease someone else, before me.

In the moment when things seem so easy to do, is when we lose awareness on what we really must do, that comes when a moment of breathing room is acquired, where we want to pull the trigger on our utmost desire, then realize, this pattern I’ve allowed before, that leaves a sore taste in the mouths of others, unintentionally intended to follow through with what we said, that will happen, but not within the time we expected, where the test is, now that I see the bigger picture of things, will I still make the same damn mistakes again? And when will I learn from the mistakes I’ve made, if I don’t take a stand now that will have a long-lasting effect.

A job can easily be turned into a form of expression, especially when it’s awareness as the point of a lesson, where what I see coming up in my mind, I take the time to stop it at it’s inception, and forgive myself as a point of correction, that lessens the possibility of things becoming amiss, although I’m not perfect and still walking my process, I am progressing forward and into more awareness, being aware of not only the state that I’m in, but the consideration of others and the state they’re in, before choosing to say some of the things I do, unless the things I say are needed in the moment of truth, and still then, I’m selective with the word I speak, and if a mistake is made I must correct it immediately, to not leave anything lingering/festering in the minds of others, that way I’ve made clear the understanding of me.

In general, awareness is the point of seeing things with clarity, but self-awareness is the point of true intimacy, where INTernal Investigation MAkes for spot on Accuracy, that nurses the body into an evolutional state, being aware of my reactions I choose to manipulate, to validate the different characters we go into, is the same as accepting the idea of powerlessness, that comes with a feeling to not doing nothing about it, it’s the way we stay within a blissful reality of ignorance, that interrupts our self-awareness, injecting fear into the care we have, to only care about the things we think makes us feel good. Therefore;


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand with my real eye, how I put a tint on the things I should have a closer look at, in awareness when seeming unimportant and so push aside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set aside my awareness for the point of blissful ignorance for so long, that I lose track on prominent things I really need to look at, such as the responsibility I have to myself as a point of survival, to when getting a moment of breathing room/having what I need to make things happen, to not go back into the pattern of thinking things will always be available and so want to spend what I really don’t have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I’m ok with just looking at things and not investigating them within self-awareness of what I’m able to do and/or not able to do at the time, so on and so forth.


And so the point of awareness can be a bit personal for each, that shows what we choose to look at or not see for self-interested reasons, that’s worth our attentiveness to what comes up within the experiences of us, that makes awareness a full time job, that can easily be facilitated corrected and lived as an expression, because we all are really aware of the things we do, so step into the moment of truth, to see what we are allowing in our own individual worlds, to be able to see and treat all in this world as ourselves, in oneness and equality with each other as ourselves, and as life as a whole as ourselves, doing what’s best for all in the awareness of us, where if in us we all trust this world will change. And that’s all I got for now.

Thanks for reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 15 Dec 2019, 21:27

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rspective/

Day 860: From Reel to Real (Perspective)

Rinse and repeat, binge watching what goes on in our minds, thinking this time I got it “right” = a Rigid- Glance that Hinders our Time, every time we say I know I’m right, when questioned about what we see and imagine, that can easily be manipulated by changing our minds, in mid-stride to specify our self-interest on any point, at the joint of doing things one way or another. We make it a point to edit what’s real, into how we think it should make me feel, that’s a movie that only moves me with a happy ending, and so live our lives in search of this feeling, never dealing with our own emotional demons, that shows us what’s real in the reality of self, that’s much more than a feeling we’ve extracted from this energy, that’s an enemy to the way we should live in this reality .

Imagine if you will your utmost desire, then realize it’s mostly about Love and Money, then reach out your hand and try to grab what you see, to learn these are the things I let separate me, now realize your hand on the mouse that you have, to solidify the absolute of substantial matter, where what matters most should be what we touch and feel, instead of how we feel about what we can’t touch, so why is it we let thoughts control our feeling, that comes from the reel we see in our minds (In Layman’s terms), instead of realizing what’s real in the reality we’ve created, which makes us the point of correcting our misappropriations?

I mean Is it appropriate to say I’m living in a dream world of idea’s and beliefs and not what reality shows, the utter misconception that this reality is a dream, is the search for something more outside of me, instead of seeing how we’ve allowed ourselves to be susceptible to doubt, when believing, to what we’ve created there’s no way out, and so re-live and play things over again, looking for the most easiest escape route, that only brings us back to the same point again, with a merry go round of overages we do it over again, over aging much faster than we really should, when those from our past lived much longer that stood for something, because the mind wasn’t engrained as such, is it too much to investigate what comes up in our minds, to where in time we can connect to what’s real in this reality, and reel in all these idea’s/perceptions and beliefs.

The only thing is we’ve allowed ourselves to get caught up in memory, that reels us into a point of complacency, instead of facing the reality that stares us in the face, we have a history of destroying the ground on which we stand, and wonder why sink hole is like the Earth’s soul to swallow us up, when digging up trees to lighten up our days, in holy ways singing, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” that only christen the mind, as if it was a new beginning, on holidays and day’s we think is holier than thou, then walk away with such a holistic feel, not realizing how this “Reel’s” story line ends, up killing the main character that’s accepted by most.

Simply put we create the world in which we live, in our own lives and this world as a whole, and it’s not the point of thinking I/You alone have to save the world, but to just have a look at how we act/interact and participate with those we allow in our lives, ‘Am I considering what’s real in the reality around me’ or ‘am I choosing to not take responsibility for the mistakes I’ve made’, in the sense of reacting to/toward someone in my world, when in my mind I think they made me mad, as if they really have the power to change the experience of me, when reality shows how we’re creating our own experiences, so to look at how we would like to be treated by others in our lives, to so do the same to/towards others in our worlds, that would stop the replays of memories in our minds, and bring forth common sense to be lived in this reality for real, that would casually usher in the change that’s needed to bring forth Heaven on Earth (For All) to experience equally.

Thanks for reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 21 Dec 2019, 20:54

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... -like-you/

Day 861: Be Like You!

Expressions are expressed slowly, in fact at the speed in which you move, it’s proven that all expressions are not approved by everyone, when seeing a person express how they do, especially when you think they should to be like you in public, that’s subject to your disapproval, perpetuating the usual idea that they must be on drugs, when we’ve all at one point in time wanted to “Be like Mike” as the saying goes (The Basketball super star) that baskets our childlike expression, and lessens our ability to express real happiness, where happiness in its raw form brings out the kid in you, but hate kids because they’re so innocence and happy (So to speak), that some may think makes no sense, because it’s irritating to our self-interested Ego.

But interesting how it’s not really self that we’re interested in, but the flesh of somebody else that looks good, where if the person that’s expressing is a “Looker” then it’s all good in my book, they can do no wrong, and that’s when our imagination kicks in to start thinking “Oh my, what I would do with that”, then walk away with a new memory to play with later on when playing is the name of the game, but without them, because we were too scare to interact with them, from ‘thinking out loud’, that just so maybe they might pick up on it and run the other way, sounds familiar?

That’s similar to the way we wish we looked like others, with big pecks and arm, or curvature that carves the body to the delight of roaming eye, thinking that it’s something wrong with how we look, instead of flaunting our possessions with the confident expression, that I’m here too, to experience life that same as you do, but in different ways, which make any other No different than me. I mean, we’ve placed ourselves adjacent to the point of defeat, holding onto it, and if that’s not enough, do this; try holding onto Da-feet and walk, that’ll show just how unstable we are, the nearly impossible - that’s possible we fall, which is half possession and little ability to stand tall and upright, that takes being right into the correction phase, to forever live our days as the point of connection, connecting with parts of me that I want to be like, when coping others.

If we all wore our drama on our sleeve, no matter how we looked or what we can do, would you still want to be like me/like others that show such a picture perfect presentation, not taking anything away from how we present ourselves, but how we would rather copy another, instead of walking in the present as who I am, with what I got, that has nothing to do with the haves and have nots, but much to do with dropping the act to just be you, it’s actually hard to compare two like-minded individuals, that come apart every time we say “Compared to who”, that’s abusive in a sense to the word togetherness, where together there’s rest when Oneness and Equality is expressed, that takes each ones individual participation, to stop waiting on who you would like to be like and be you.

To be like you is what makes this existence unique, with all its commonality and individualism, that could create realism to be the new way of living, with no need for realistic expressions or reality shows, because reality would show just how real we are, that’s far from having to tell another, I like them because they’re real for telling it like it is, when the telling would show in the way we all live and how we express our individual uniqueness, that’s a catapult to reaching our utmost potential, so it’s a payment to all for you to “Be like You”, with no emotional attachments or reaction alike, just who you are as all as life.

What might be the most commonsensical thing we have in common, is our words - that although in different language they mean the same, for most part, but we part ways with the specificity there in and think this encapsulates our individualism, which in a sense it does, but rub shoulder ever so closely with how we define each one (Words), where we justify the acceptance of agreeing to disagree, just because someone else makes more money or have a huger following than me, so we reserve our place on the bandwagon of choice, just to antagonize others about the choices they make, saying come on board into the Pyramid of things – that’s permitting our nose and arms to the heaven to sing, praises to the idea of being unworthy, that’s insinuated by the positions we place ourselves in, while the hierarchy of men makes the choices for us, we sit back in fear of “Thou shall Not break the law”.

But as the saying goes “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”, just as long as the roaming doesn’t take place in the mind or eyes, thinking is it wrong to be who I really am, instead of realizing who I really am is not defined by right or wrong.

I had a conversation with someone and they told me I was mysterious, then said they started reading my blog and stopped for some reason, but interesting how they realized I wasn’t seeking attention, and so told them these are sharing of what I realize about myself, you see the first thing that comes up in others when seeing what you do, is why are they doing this and how does this resonate with me, and if it doesn’t they don’t spend another second of their time on what you’re doing, but more so on other things they allow to moves them in their world, and although you still remain on speaking terms with them, it shows how “Being like you” perks the interest of others, where –

Everyone in a way loves originality, as long as your originality doesn’t hurt anyone, and going against the grain may hurt more than you, so this is not what this is intended to be, in any shape or form although the truth may hurt, so I explained how we all (For most part) think the same things, but little to none ever consider the things that we think, to be what limits us from being like ourselves.

Not to push aside the learning aspect of being like you, because that’s the ‘Following’, meaning to walk alongside, if within the walk shows how to be the best version of me, no matter who’s showing me, I student the acceptance, point being we all are aware of every step we take, and know exactly how much information we’re ready to take in, and if what we’re taking in is bubbling within me to be like you, then I need to take a look at who I am allowing myself to be, to realize am I doing this for me or for the likes of others, and if so, I’ve been living in an altered mind state of reality and need to find my way back to living for me. so that I can experience who I really am as life, where the correction would be;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move away from the childlike expression that I once presented myself as, into an alternate mind state of reality, thinking/perceiving/believing that I needed to be like others in my world, that has survival down to a science, and so chased after the well-crafted character they perpetuated and took it on as my own, just to find that I was moving myself more away from the reality of Self, in all its facets and fashionable individualism, not considering there’s more behind the characters of others that we embody and step into for attention, that the shoes they wear may not fit on my feet, that so makes it hard for me to walk my own process.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to process into my existence the likes of how others are/look/act/walk/talk and live, thinking if I do the same, I would be able to have what they do/have, simply put, as a collective, being the unspeakable mention that’s not brought up in conversations, that we’ve all at some point in time experience at least a thought of sorts, that has altered the coming into who we really are as ourselves, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a way move beyond the point of investigate all things and keep that which is good, into taking it all on, thinking I can do it and be them, which is impossible, being that I would still be who I am, but suppressed, causing unwarranted consequences onto myself and so others in my world, when trying to relate with them as individuals, fogging the mirrored version of me, unable to see myself clearly, that’s clearly a detriment to reaching my/our utmost potential, which makes it imperative for one to “Be like You”. (In a nutshell).

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 29 Dec 2019, 22:05

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... -nineteen/

Day 862: Process, (Two Thousand Nineteen)

From whence I came, to where I’m at, to where I’m going while being right Here, that’s full of interesting relationships, from concepts to living patience, that masons the building blocks for building a solid foundation, from being unchangeable to having new insights and revelations, to investigating my procrastinations and self-positioning placements, in Location of where I’m at when walking my process, when walking my process, this is where I’m at = you can’t actually runaway from yourself for too long, being that the string of life will always pull you back into your body.

The consequence to all that I’ve done in the past, is the walk in constant awareness of what I’m experiencing today, that’s shouldering the responsibility of corrections that’s needed, = the process of walking one point at a time, that Doesn’t mean that the point is all, well/said and done, because It’ll sneak back up on you and cause you to slip, from taking trips down memory lane to dealing with it, that’s the pain that I’ve created as a point of cross-reference.

It’s a lesson to learn how some pain is a gift, that helps me to hone in more on my awareness, but do consider that awareness is a full time job, I had to learn this the hard way from things becoming too hard, and overwhelming that’s overwhelming myself with uncertainty, when certainly I could see clearly my own way out, to an extent of extending my arm out for help, which I found most important when Hell is smacking you in the face, to saying ‘Hello’, I choose not to feel this way again, and want to create for myself a new way of living, that’s giving as I was gifted to see more of me, that’s more for me to experience what harmony really is.

I discern to live in harmony with more than just me, is a philosophy of seeing that there’s more to learn about life, that Stifel’s my “Thinking Right” as desolate thinking, because I demanded so late to understand what’s going on within me, but fast forward to today a lot of things have changed, while being that same person that did some interesting things, where what interest me now is no longer my self-interest, in the sense of doing things that only made me feel good, knowing now that good things and feelings are aligned with energy, that’s the starting point for Egotism to step right in, best to understand that the Ego will take it’s revenge, as was shown to me, and still faced the experience of it.

All and all I’ve learned a lot and still have a ways to go, although there’s no end to this process I’m walking, with those in my world who I’ve come to know as true friends, a lot of whom I haven’t met yet but still would call them friend, being that the assistance from them has supported me to change my world, and the way I view the world as all that mirrors me, life that’s existent in everything that is here, and every human being alike that walks the same process, to getting to the point of figuring all as life is me, meaning no matter what walk of life you comes for WE ALL Matter.

I used to fathom the farthest reaches as a point of escapism, that only made my patience a panting operation, directed by Anxiety that society will never change, but lo and behold I soon learned what society really means, and during that time I also learned that being Angst = Frustration/Irritation and Anxiety, that Angers in the Nervousness because Fear exist within me, and if fear exist within me I need to realize my expectation, like expecting what I think about to come into fruition, with worst case scenarios we debunk a calm reality, and manifest onto it what consciousness present, in the presence of others who feels the same way, and that’s how we have defined our society today.

But hey there is a way to effectively process information, from waiting to tell somebody to doing investigation, and keeping all things that is Good in a sense, as the Gods we all are that inhabits this existence, and if you just stuck your chest out that means Energy is present, I mean this past year I’ve learn how to humble myself and listen, it’s a process we all walk and it’s full of inventions - that’s Investing In the Time it take for me to act on my Correction, where in time I’ll realize the true meaning of a blessing, that has nothing to do with what we get or any of our possessions, but more so the ability to make changes that’ll last, not only for one but all to experience Freedom from our past. Simply because we’ve corrected it by injecting in Equality, that obviously if we’re all equal would eliminate most problems, that starts with you/me ever so walking our process, none the less as I am still a work in Progress.

Thanks for reading. [Process 2019]

Desteni.org



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 05 Jan 2020, 19:33

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rspective/

Day 863: In Consideration of… (Perspective)

All that I’ve missed and mistaken into creating mishaps as my congregation that validates my own self-interest, all the time, even when having others in mind, we find a way to excuse what we do for them, and don’t do for being confused about how it would make me feel, and still refuse to lend a helping hand without expecting others to be at our beck and call, where when I call, best to answer and listen to my cancerous rant, that’s suppressed anger projected outwards, to protect in consideration of only me, without words to tell others, I just didn’t have you in mind, unconditionally.

It’s Dearing to consider that we say things for purposes, deserving no explanation other than having a listening ear, in a moment of vulnerability we choose who we trust to be vulnerable with, that can easily be taken away if not asked for perspective, but giving as a point of jumping to conclusions, that could be confusing when one is trying to figure things out, where sounding boards are the bounce back to hear one own introspection, to be able to move into realization and understand the situation, and only then if something is missed addons is accepted, and in doing so we’re considering one own learnt lesson.

More than opening doors for others as a point of consideration, if we choose to consider ourselves, doors would open up for us, in the sense of taking action, that’s acting responsible sensibly, that happens when we take into consideration the minds of others, in where they’re at as where we’ve been and what it took for us to get through it, that was not an easy feat when we chose to stand up and do it, by any means it’s still a learning process for me to practice what I speak, before preaching what I think that makes it hard for others to see, in which way to step when stepping in their own time, and do consider their path to life may be different than what we find.

[Note to Self ]: If walking principled living then walk the way it’s printed, I mean we signed up for it, but this point we soon forget, not to say that we don’t slip because some mistakes are a gift, and other are done in consciousness that makes no sense, in which case consider consciousness as the point of mind control, that has patrolled our every move and recorded it into a soul, and so think that this soul is what powers the body, to so hobby away our life instead of considering the life that it is.

An experiment of potential contortion to destroy the potential we have, that’s instrumental to becoming a part of life in this existence, where in the flesh we’re all life, but need to realize the walk into living it, and to be trusted by it is to consider all of life there is, that is here in everything that is seen and unseen, by the naked eye which is a naked lie when thinking about what we’re looking at, I mean it should be clear that what we’re looking at is pieces of ourselves spread thin, throughout existence that’s incapsulated on this Planet/Solar System and Universe, that’s inside each one of us so do consider the Us being Yourself, every time we choose to say ‘Them’ which in it says That’s Me, the we that makes this life possible, it’s a certainty we created it, where if we created obstacles, we can also overcome it, when considering the only choice we really have is to correct ourselves, and by correcting ourselves we’re correcting our world, so that all can live in harmony as life from hence forth, and support all that can’t do to the nature of us inhabitants, that happens to be the power behind the way we choose to be. So ‘In Consider of”, is in regards to you and me.

Thanks for reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 11 Jan 2020, 18:50

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rspective/

Day 864: Under the Radar

The spotlight is reserved for superior people, was my thinking, and so shined the light on my characteristic self, in moments of wanting/seeking attention, when little to no attention was given to me growing up, or so I thought and thought a lot, without realizing all in my world deserved attention equally, but most just grabbed it and seem to be just fine, and when I tried it didn’t work the same all the time, so inverted myself to stay in my mind, because there, no one could tell me to sit down or be quiet, so rioted the point of thinking out loud, without making a sound for thinking to much, because my conversation were hush hush and I rarely spoke, and poked around the point of having nothing to say, which really wasn’t the case, I thought this way I would be wondered about, and when I wasn’t chose to wonder around in my mind, thinking, “No one gives a s*** about me anyway’.

But then came the advent of being able to do things, I mean people started to praise me for some of the things I could do, like dancing and doing back flips, and could talk a good game, but only talked about the things I thought they should do, it’s interesting how people will avidly listen to you, when believing you can do some of the things that they can’t, for most part, it’s that part of wanting to hang around someone interesting, to show us how to have the good time that they’re having, and maybe to have them around all the time, to brighten up our day when things become dreary, and dream away our problems but only for a that moment, I mean who wouldn’t want to be the cause for that.

So I made it a point of being the perceived happiness for others, and took too serious some of the characters I created, to forgetting who I was and talking a certain way, when around those who I thought looked up to me, or liked me for that matter, I finally had “Status”, and lived within the static I created in my world, like with electromagnetic energy I attracted all of my problems, but couldn’t see how I was the beacon drawing such attention, where with the good comes the bad and with the positive comes the negative, but soaked it all up as being who I was meant to be, until it all fell apart from spreading myself too thin, and realizing with all that I’ve done I’d gotten nowhere in my life.

From then on I hated attention and shied away from being in the fore front, but fronted the point of being the one who had done all of that, I then started walking a process of getting to know the real me, and found that all the Me’s I created was made up characters, and so carried myself around in solemn of searching soul based memories, then hiding behind the idea of not letting anyone close to me, mostly when being around those who boasted about me, I now wanted to be under the radar so ‘Please don’t share me’, to no one especially the new people I’ve come to know in my world, it’s like I wanted a fresh start to be seen as myself and no one else - to forget about all I thought I was and didn’t want to see, and if you share me publicly I’d delete you just because, but what I didn’t realize is how effective sharing differs from seeking attention, being now that I have something substantial to say, that should be shared from time to time when walking this way, just as long as I share what I walk first before others take it to mind, because it’s easy to find a way to disrupt what one is saying, to stay within the point of things going our way, but when it’s something good about us we want to tell everybody, and claim the point of yeah they’re talking about me.

In two-fold, under the radar is the significant approach of inverting the ‘shine on me’ inward towards self, that spotlights my mishaps and takes, to be corrected and then shared, as the second part to assist with Self taking a stand, that then can be presented as the world of me, publicly if to support others to see themselves in a way, because what sticks is what we take in knowingly or unknowingly, that would eventually come to the forefront in it’s own do time, in each ones mind in location of where they’re at in their own process. Point is for me to shine the light on self and to continue to progress in my own process, to get to the point of Rare occurrence of Defining myself As Real life, not only that but to get to the point of become that it is, which started with me discovering HERE ways to make this happen. And that’s all I got to say about that for now.

Thanks for reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 21 Jan 2020, 22:02

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... e-hearing/

Day 865: Selective Reading, Selective Seeing, Selective Hearing

Lol, See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil is what comes up, as the preprogrammed validation to how we interpret things, where if all doesn’t resonate with my way of thinking in the moment, I accept my mind leaving out vital specifics, that would substantiate the parts that we do hear, before coming up with our own interpretation of what’s being said, thinking that we’ve understood something in it’s totality, but then after the fact when going back, see how we’re sadly mistaken for jumping to conclusions, including our own understanding as the ‘that’s all there is to it, when it’s not, that makes apologies and self-apologies a continuous thing, instead of continuing something that’s supportive to our well-being.

I mean for me, have a look, when going back over any of my/any one of our conversations with someone in our worlds, especially written text, it can be mind-blowing just how much is missed (being a point of support) and the context in which it was written, but what I find interesting is, if there’s any excitement or praise, or something to look forward to, most are quick to soak it up, but leave the rest to wither away in a way, like not reading the fine print, that also may state how we have gotten ourselves to this space/place and time, in our lives and how the experience of us (no matter what it is), shows in our expression, like things being written all over your face, that oddly enough shows in what we write as well.

Whether quick messages/chats or statements, I realize all things need to be look at carefully to be totally understood and not taken personal, and if not completely understood ask question, which is also a huge flaw of mine that comes up from time to time, but know the correction to it, so in time it will show that along with listening and/or reading attentively, I able to recap with certainty what I heard, read and understood thoroughly. Therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times read selectively, where I would (in a rush for no apparent reason) skim over what I see (reading), and only taken things I think is the sum to all that was/is written, and only go with a partial imprint of the information given for a quick response by me, with the idea to appease the other that I understood, but in a way stood under what was said, that went right over my head and now have to go back over it and correct myself, where I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how important recaps are, to show that I’m on track with the information given, especially when being directed towards me, and/or asked as a collective for a shared response, and if not understood to ask questions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Selectively see things in a sense of turning the other cheek to not see how I am existing a certain way, within reactions or having a pity party with all the bells and whistles, whistling dixie about how I’m messing up, being hard on myself, judging the things that I do and don’t do at times when I should or shouldn’t, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also at times only look at things that appeals to my self-interested Ego, that revenges my new inventions (points of creation), with the attempt to achieve them by way of old habit/patterns/behaviors, that ends up being another failed creation, because I didn’t look at the underlying specifics on how to correct my vision to see what I’m missing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to selectively hear only what I want to hear and have at times cut down the volume on everything else, taking what I thought was the sum to it all and interpreting it in my own words that sounds good, but not the totality of what was said (at times), not realizing the distortion that can be created from it in the long run, when only stating bits and pieces of it, instead of all that was said, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave piece out of what’s been said when sharing it with others no matter what it was/is, because I only picked up on certain parts, and chose not to ask in the moment “What did you say”, and/or “Can you repeat that”, at which time (when re-shared) would undeniably be without doubt, a verbatim broadcast.


So, Responsibility lies within self to stand as you will, as I will stand every time I see what may be seen as a slight mishap within me, and so do the corrections, and for each our own, as this is what I see works best as a starting point to reaching my utmost potential, because we are all a work in progress in our own individual processes.

Thanks for reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 947
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 23 Jan 2020, 21:56

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... d-actions/

Day 866: Hidden Meaning Behind Reversed Actions

Obviously we don’t say all that we do, even though some of the things we do, needs to be looked at, where “good feeling” are the deliverance from taking responsibility, for our action we pass on in spite of getting even, and just because it feels so good to do = you allow this to be done unto you, so ‘how does that feel’ become the right jab we accept, within reactions, in reverse of the grudge we kept, then go to sleep thinking they got what they deserve, from being so apologetic that got on my nerves, where apologies are the “Didn’t know how it would make you feel”, that’s useless being that I’m not in charge of making you feel, but what real is the assumptive way we concoct our beliefs, that chief the idea there must be something more to this, because how else would I feel so disconnected, and depressed from expecting things to go my way?

These are just a few of the things we choose not to say, and hide behind in seclusion of the power trip we have, in the moment giving power to the mind trip we’re on, because of realizing I can’t control what others do in my world, so go into a reaction for the mind to step in, and act out the reverse of feeling we have, cancelling out any possibility of reaching a solution, because we’ve deduced that any other solution is not possible to reach.

Where, what we say in one moment differs from the next, because of stipulating some stipulations within unconditionality, that’s saying on one hand I like you for who you are, but on the other just as long as you only consider me, and that’s it, until I’m happy and then just so maybe you can consider others, but until then I need you to feed my self-interested Ego, then tell others that my other half completes me completely, not realizing how our behavior is completely out of character, in the sense of living out characters instead of really caring for him or her, it’s the jealousy that ever so cleverly stands between the two, and stops the process of what each one is doing, to saying I better not do that because the other may get mad, then beat oneself up over not doing enough for self, on either end, in any relationship, friend/family or partnership, where when bartering this way we’re designing it to fail, being subjected to how one or the other could make you feel.

What it all boils down to is, saying one thing but doing another, and the justifications we Use in turning Us into Energy, when no energy is needed for Us to Experience one another and become one if two or more ever so choose to be, as a collective in this existence we all can exist as one, if two or more choose to stand up in the name of life, that’s the acceptance of none less than what I would accept for myself, from Beings/Animals/Nature and Humans all together as life substance.

Therefore, hidden meaning behind reversed actions is a self-induced conflict internally speaking, (The saying one thing, but thinking/doing another) in conflict with who I am allowing myself to be and projecting it outward, to be the disapproval of you, for what I think you don’t agree with what I’m saying, and so patronize the other for what they do, where if the shoe don’t fit, don’t hurt your feet, so to speak in speaking up about what’s coming up within me, in the moment and own the possibility of changing for the better, (WITH NO BLAME) so the next moments won’t be a repeat of the past, and the relationships we have can last forever, that takes one for all and all for one, where communication is a KEY that salutes the solution, and proven to be a way we can correct our experiences. And that’s all I got to say about that for now.

Thanks for reading.




Return to “7 Years Journey to Life”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests

cron