To consider when it comes to such experiences with schizophrenia is that the effects of such ‘programs’ of consciousness does not only extend into the mind, but also into the body – which is why, for example, when facing schizophrenia: it’s important to have the support for the body and the mind to be able to support you to in the meantime have a stable as possible inner reality and in so doing - working with what you’re facing most effectively.
Schizophrenia is essentially when personalities of your mind / consciousness starts embodying itself into behaviour all at the same time, so you have for example 2 / 3 different personalities trying to ‘live themselves out’ in the body at the same time causing much inner conflict. Whereas with most people in this world, the personality systems of their mind / consciousness are more ‘controlled’ in the sense that one personality at a time will activate that they will then embody and then live out dependent on where they are / with who they are.
So, the medicinal supports stabilises the personalities in you and the body and so gives you that ‘inner space’ within yourself to stabilise and see your mind / personalities and so the thoughts and emotions more clearly, rather than them being busy / all over the place inside you at the same time.
Therefore, what I would suggest working with is not judging the medications – rather embrace them as a support for yourself, because you are seeing that they are stabilising you. So essentially, with the medications, they are supporting the stabilising of the personalities inside yourself and so you can be equally as ‘stable’ as most people in this world and this also gives you the ‘space’ within yourself to deal with everyday thoughts and emotions.
Thus, if I were you – I would simply realise that the medications are giving you that stability you need to be able to walk your process in understanding your mind and how to direct it most effectively. Therefore, all I’d do is take it day by day – like everyone else walking process really, identify the major thought / reactions patterns you’re dealing with and incorporate the process of writing, forgiveness and self change into everyday life.
Obviously, yes – with medications comes consequences, but physical consequence you can more ‘easily’ correct and support than for example the inner consequence of the mind / consequence that can spiral out of control without the support of the medications. So, take care of the body – support it, really look at implementing a diet of foods / nutrition that will rev up the health of the body, for example research what foods support the heart, organs function, blood flow and look at exercise of course.
Also to consider is that sometimes medications bring out ‘dormant’ problems that’s actually always been there in the body – for example you’ve been struggling with blood pressure / cholesterol that could have already to some degree been there, but with the medications you’re taking, they started flaring up even more. Therefore, I would suggest ‘listening to your body’ see what’s going on inside of it and what you can do to support it through foods and exercise. I mean, I’d even suggest looking at what exercises specifically will cater to supporting the body cause some exercise regimes are calculated and planned to support the body in specific ways.
Overall Nick, I’d say you have an awesome opportunity here to walk a change in your overall mental and physical health with the support of the medications you’re on now – so, look at these dimensions of not reacting to the medications, but realise the support they’re giving, walk the process of understanding your thoughts and emotions as the inner support and then research exercise and nutrition for the physical support.