Day 49- How Spite Consumes Me
Today I had a reoccurring thought regarding an interaction I had with an employee of a hotel. I experienced myself as being wronged by this individual and have since kept having thoughts about calling the hotel to complain about this individual since I was not able to direct the situation initially in a way I would have preferred.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I should call and complain about this individual
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to not realize that thinking I should call and complain about this individual implies I am having an emotional reaction to our interaction
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within the emotion of feeling wronged by this individual
When and as I see myself go into the emotional reaction of feeling wronged, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this emotional reaction implies that I am already running within a mind program and must first find my self-responsibility within the situation before I can direct myself effectively once again.
I commit myself to first investigate the initial thought which triggered the behavior pattern, in this case spite, which caused the problematic situation in the first place, before accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional reaction of feeling spited and being constantly bombarded with the thought of retaliating against the other person, sapping my time and energy within my day thinking and emoting about a situation that happened now three days ago.