DAY 14: Face Feedback, Breathe Through Reaction, and Change
I successfully completed my practical driving test about two months ago. It has helped to have my license in the industry I work in. I work with disability and mental health clients. Before I had my license, I was using Ubers and/or public transport. The Ubers were out of my own pocket because the company I work for is not seeing/realising/understanding that clients should come first before their greedy ways. Thankfully, Ubers were always quite cheap. The problem I had with public transport is that some clients did not enjoy riding the bus or having to wait for it. Which is understandable considering their circumstances. Now that I have a car of my own, I have greater responsibility too.
Part of the duties of a support worker is to fill out paperwork. We all do it to keep records of everything that goes on in our clients lives. The paperwork that is completed has to be taken to the office. We also have to collect money from the office for the clients. That task was left with me at the end of the week. I forgot to take the paperwork last week and made mistakes in documentation for distribution of money. I was in a rush that day.
When we have to take care of someone that is very dependent mentally and physically on support workers it can often be a process of having to multitask. Some tasks in the day will be cooking breakfast, remaining with the client while they eat, assisting with medication, keeping them entertained through conversations while they eat, assisting client with showering, putting used aids in the bin for dignity of client, assisting client to walk from room to room, assisting them to pick what they want to wear, assisting them to get dressed, whilst keeping them entertained as not to feel uncomfortable or have their mood switch into worry, or a state that sets them off into a break down, etc. Having to take them out for the day, deal with people starring and maintaining their confidence in public… there is so much that one has to be aware of when on shift with a client. It is easy to forget to read the communication book as it is not really an absolute requirement. So, I forgot to read the book that stated my documentation mistake.
It is very easy to make a mistake when having to focus on the client who is fully dependent on you for their mental and physical well-being. The problem is that we start reacting to our mistakes and that's where I am being a disservice to myself. Beating oneself up about a mistake that can be corrected is not best for all. What can be done is create a structure of what needs to be done when on shift with client. It helps remember everything without having to depend solely on memory.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed about making an error/mistake with documentation and my colleagues having to pick me up on it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what my colleagues may think about me for forgetting to check communication book.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that staff communication is not needed as my job is to purely assist/support my client on that day
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that communication between fellow support workers is a great assistance/support because we can fill each other in with knowledge/information of various ways to work with the client, and what is happening in the household.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed about some colleagues wanting to use a book instead of face-to-face communication.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I've done wrong for not reading the communication book when Person A and B could have communicated with me face-to-face.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about making mistakes on the paperwork.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take feedback from colleagues personally rather than constructively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have various backchat about my mistakes that lead to emotions of discouragement, blame, annoyance and feeling not good enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bully myself for making a mistake on the paperwork.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear colleagues letting off emotional steam for making a mistake.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the way that my colleagues behave in emotional reactions or build-up emotional steam personally.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I can simply focus on the words that the person is saying no matter what state they're in behaviour wise, or emotional possession wise.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take colleagues body language and voice tone personally especially if it is louder than usual, and/or possessed with emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing colleagues after making a mistake to hear what they have to say about it.
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